I know that with time I tend to build around myselves something I would call comfort zones. I have noticed that is what I tend to do. I have my comfort zone in my professional life, in my private live, in my social life, in Aikido, everywhere I look - comfort zones. There are simply those cozy areas of given domain that I feel safe, competent and I know that as long as I am within my zone - I am safe. Nothing would harm me or even challenge and I am just... this cool dude who is expert in whatever fields we're discussing...
But make no mistake - this is not necessary a bad thing. These comfort zones are usually result of many years of hard work. When I am in my comfort zone I truly am an expert. I am not guessing, not playing games, not pretending to be knowledgable - I really know stuff. This is solid wisdom.
Now, the problem is - as soon as we move out of comfort zone I get thes feeling of uneasiness. Not exactly discomfort, but if I move out of this well-known, chartered territory into wide, open waters, I - more, rather more than less - subconsciously tend to migrate back to where we are home...
What is interesting is why is it that whenever life sends me outside these zones I tend to migrate back ASAP. I do not know where this comes from. Is it Buddhist ego (which, by the way, is an illusion) trying to steer me into field where I actually am competent and can boast I am the king of the hill or is it pure lazyness... Don't know. I know this mechanism is there.
I believe is that any kind of progress in whatever you do (i really mean any progress at all) only happens when you decide to move outside comfort of your safe zone.
Take a look at my Aikido. There are two aspects to it - technical and conditional (Chiba Sensei says that Aikido is 95 % conditioning and 5 % technique ;-). Technically I have (hopefully - pretty wide) solid area where I know I am pretty competent. Then there is very wide grey zone or no-man's land where I am aware of my limitations, I am aware of what I do know and what I do not know. And then there is this whole area where I know it exists, but I also know I suck at it and this is totally outside my safety zone. Ideally I would be able to slowly expand my comfort zone to cover some parts of the grey zone and at the same time get more and more familiar with things that lay outside my comfort zone.
But it is hard. Because - given free choice - I naturally will tend to remain withinmy comfot zone.
This is, where I think, importance of teacher comes in. If you have close relationship with your teacher - he knows you and your comfort zone. If you trust your teacher you will let him guide you and he will take you outside your comfort zone. Not too far though - as far as you can actually take it. Then the development is much faster and also your teacher will be able to give you right direction. Sometimes behind your teacher there is a lineage (be it martial arts, Buddhism, science, etc), sometimes not. In some fields it's extremely difficult to find a teacher - how to find a teacher who will take you outside your emotional comfort zone?
I have observed this mechanism with myself. If there are people I do not have good relationship with and I am not comfortable with then I tend to avoid them. Now I know the trend I have so I can actually decide whether I want to stay with them and face my demons or whether I just do not want to enter relationship with them. But I want to make this conscious choice myself.
I believe this attitude extends to all kinds of activities - emotional with your partner, professional with your boss/workmates, religious, martial arts and so on.
Of course the question is - what kind of life you want? What I have found is that living within confines of your safety domain is... simply boring.
